5. FEAST

[hismasterpiece]

[Voice]

Hallo, pretty New Feathers! I am hosting a feast. A feast by the lake to the West.

[Not the southern lake -- she needs to keep certain peoples' attention away from the lonely house she inhabits there.]

You are all invited! I have prepared something for you. It tastes of mint and chicory and iron! Yarrow and tansy! It will make you stronger.


Come.

[/Voice]

[Action]

Drusilla will be stalking about the woods as usual, eager to assist anyone who HASN'T heeded her invitation.

There is a cage waiting there, hidden under the trees. It is large enough to house a full-grown adult human.

It tastes of mint and iron.

[/Action]

Comments

[hismasterpiece]

Drusilla swanned in, leaving a patter-patter of goat blood behind her. It would be lovely drizzled over popcorn.

"It smells funny in here. Like larks."

Oh -- there was the television! Spike had always rather liked television. Drusilla had always been rather nervous that she would get sucked inside it.

"Will we cuddle close?"

[quicktoanger]

Oh, for the love of-

Luckily, I had a pack of kleenex in my duster pocket, which I quickly put to use cleaning up the goat blood.

This was turning into a bizarre, bizarre evening.

"Well, actually, I couldn't find any couches, just armchairs, so that would be a little difficult."

And this way she was less likely to be bothered by the holy water I was periodically applying to my neck and hands. See? Win-win. I'm nothing if not a sensitive date.

[hismasterpiece]

"But that's even better, my darling!" Dru happily bounced into one of the chairs -- gracefully, though. Like a swan bouncing somewhere.

"Come. Sit on my lap."

[quicktoanger]

She was not serious.

... She was. She was entirely serious. Hells Bells, I was starting to think I should just let her eat the New Feathers.

"As tempting an offer as that is," which was not very, but she didn't need to know that, "I dunno if that'd really be a good idea. I'm kinda... tall. You wouldn't be able to see the screen."

[namesthestars]

"But then I could thrum out a tune on the bars of your spine. Tinky-tinky-tink! The spine makes a lovely melodious piano when played by the right waif."

She was mostly teasing, there. Drusilla patted her knees and opened her arms to him.

"Come! Feed me the popped corn!"

The goat's head bag lay on the floor beside the chair, forgotten for the present.

[quicktoanger]

"Yeah, if I'm ever in dire need of an instrument, I'll keep it in mind." Maybe if I studiously ignored all the over-the-top flirting she'd ease up?

Yeah, and maybe I'd learn to shoot lasers out of my eyes by glaring really hard. I passed her the popcorn, turned on the TV- I'd already muted it, in anticipation of the impending mess of static- and began fiddling with the old VCR.

Damn thing was almost thirty years out of date and it still didn't want to work for me. And I was on what was, to all outward appearances, a date with a vampire. A vampire who either wanted to kill me, jump me, or turn me into another vampire, if not all of the above. My life sucks sometimes.

[hismasterpiece]

Not in that order, Harry.

Drusilla took the popcorn and ate a few pieces.

"Why isn't it working, dear Harry?"

[quicktoanger]

"Oh, uh. It's kind of a wizard thing. I'll get it, don't worry."

I'm not easy on technology even by wizard standards. Part of it is because I've just got a lot of raw magical firepower behind me, but a bigger part is because that technology-killing field is based on emotions. The more emotional you are, the worse the field gets. And... well, at this, rate, I was going to have to draw a circle around the damn-

Ah, there we go. I finally sat back and tries to calm the hell down, because as tense as this was, she was liable to get bored if the TV stopped working. A bored vampire was a vampire who'd try to get back to killing people.

"Alright, we're set."

And then I sat in the chair, which conspicuously slid a few inches away from Drusilla's chair as I sat down and began watching.

[namesthestars]

She slid her chair closer to his. "What's this called again?"

[quicktoanger]

Oh, hell. I reached into my duster pocket and palmed open the cap on that bottle of holy water, trying to disguise the movement as my own natural shifting in place.

"Oh, this one's a classic, it's called Creature from the Black Lagoon."

[namesthestars]

Dru stared at the opening credits. "Oh! He looks like a demon I snogged in a bar back in the Balkans. Lovely, sucky mouth. Slurpy. Slurpy kisses."

She batted thick dark eyelashes at Harry. Hint, hint.

[quicktoanger]

... Hell's Bells, that was supposed to be appealing to me, wasn't it?

"... Sounds like a heck of a time."

Yeah, I went ahead and tipped a little holy water into my hand, then idly rubbed at my neck. This was among the most surreal experiences of my life.

[namesthestars]

"Harry? Brrr. BRR. It's chilly over here."

She tapped cold, undead fingers against the side of her chair. Tap tap. Tap tap.

Beckon, beckon. Coy beckoning.

"Or I could come to you," she decided, standing up to cross over to him. It would be lovely to sit on his lap and hold the goat's head high, bathing them both in the blood. Then she could lick it from his cheek and kiss his temple. Yes.

[quicktoanger]

"Didn't think vampires had a problem with cold."

Okay. Um. Think.

"Hey, you know what? I think there's some blankets in the closet, let me go look."

And with that, I quickly stood and brushed past her, making a beeline for the closet.

[namesthestars]

There was certainly a pout at that. "But Harry. You're not being at all cuddly! I shall have to tie you up."

And why had that delectable idea not occurred to her before? Tie him up, of course! Lovely ropes looped around each throbbing wrist; stretching him against the wall; having all of him that way.


"And then we shall play."

The Creature from the Black Lagoon continued playing on in the background in all its black and white glory.

[quicktoanger]

"Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and pass on that one."

Oh, hell, I hadn't wanted this to get confrontational. Damn, damn.

[bloodwaif]

"Have you never played tie-up before?" That piqued her interest even more. "Would you like to do me instead? We've all that lovely goat going to waste."

[quicktoanger]

... In point of fact, I had, and with a half-vampire to boot. But that half was a pretty key half, and also it wasn't really something I'd planned on.

"... Okay, Dru? We had a pleasant little evening going, and that's great, but I really don't want to get violent with you, here. So how about you do me a favor and sit back down in the chair, and I'll sit back down in my chair, and we watch the movie like good little campers, yeah?"

I didn't know how much her vampire abilities had or hadn't been weakened, but it didn't really matter. At the moment, I just felt like I had locked myself in a room with a mentally unstable predator, and suddenly I was boggling at my own arrogance.

[bloodwaif]

And all she wanted was some hot sexy loving.

"Violent? I don't want it to be violent. There could be tickling. And you could feed me the goat." She was already going past him into the closet, searching for rope. Anything that could float her kinky, significantly messed-up sexual fantasies.

[quicktoanger]

"... Drusilla, there will be no tickling of any kind. Period."

[bloodwaif]

"Spike will never find out," she promised, re-emerging with what looked like a child's jumprope. "I shall pretend to be frightened. Oh Harry."

Drusilla licked her lips and looked him up and down and up again.

"Had I tail it would be wiggle-waggling. Wag, wag!" And she gave her hips a shake as she offered him the rope and her wrists.

[quicktoanger]

She was literally standing there offering to let me tie her up.

Penthouse, you will not believe what happened to me tonight...

"Bondage was never really my thing, Dru."

[bloodwaif]

"Harry dear, Harry dear, dear Harry," she crooned, still offering herself. Pressing herself on him, really -- sinuous and insistent. "I will teach you to love it. Perhaps when you've had done with me we can catch a toy and I will show you my new cage."

[quicktoanger]

I settled my hands against her shoulders and forced her insistently away from me, not bothering to keep the anger out of my voice.

"You really want to back up right now."

[namesthestars]

"He never thinks of MY needs," she complained, steadying her hands on Dresden's shoulders even as he pushed against hers. It was a macabre sort of hug -- the kind she liked.

Anger didn't bother her much.

"'No more human blood, Dru,' he says -- him and his SOUL. Well I can STILL have fun!"